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Guys - Overcomg Shyness

Believe it or not, shyness is easy to overcome; provided you don't step out of your comfort zone. Once you learn to practice focusing on the other person, the shyness disappears.
Keep your attention on the other person and listen to every word they say. Respond when necessary but above all, remember what they have said. Practice on everyone you meet so that when you meet a beautiful woman, you will automatically do your best. 
Shyness is due to too much focus on self. All you have to do is train yourself to put the focus onto the other person. If you have trouble concentrating, meditation can help. It teaches you to stay focused.  If you blush - smile!  A big smile makes blushing disappear. 
Nervousness may make you sound abrupt on the phone - watch for it and correct it, as it will give a negative impression to someone who doesn't know you well. When you are feeling nervous speak gently.
There are very few shy men over 40 and by 50 the number is negligible. Why?

Because shyness disappears of its own accord with life experience.
Before you make a phone call some simple jaw exercises will ensure that your voice doesn't sound high and nervous.
.               Yawn exaggeratedly 5 times

.               Move your jaw up and down 5 times

.               Move your jaw sideways 5 times

You will be amazed at how calm you will sound after these few exercises.

Speak to every woman you meet from nine to ninety Forget about romance.  Strike up a conversation at every opportunity: the milk bar, in the office, on the tram, they are all good practice areas.
Have you noticed confident men talk to anyone old and young? Act confidently and soon you will feel confident.
Cultivate good manners. Good manners will give you an edge.  Hold the door open for women; stand up when they enter the room. Not only will they be impressed but it will raise your confidence levels too.  
Phrase the question so that you get the answer you want. Careful how you phrase questions:  "Do you want to go?... Will you come? ...

You may end up with a 'no' instead of a 'yes'. Never give her the opportunity to say 'no'. Give her a choice: "What suits you best - Monday or  Wednesday?"  
If you are not sure that she really wants to see a particular movie, offer another choice in the same breath: "Would you rather see ‘Casino Royal' or ‘Australia'?"

"When do you prefer to go rollerblading - at weekends or after work?"

"Next time would you prefer to catch a movie or thrash me at tennis? "

Women are attracted to attentive men.
She prefers an attentive man to one who tries to impress with compliments or physique. It is how you make her feel that is important. Whilst she is talking, listen very carefully. Take your mind off yourself by drawing an imaginary picture frame around her face and keeping your focus on what she is saying.

The greatest winner is showing that you have remembered what she said, (e.g. "Didn't you say you had never seen Casino Royale? Well it's showing next week. What night would suit you best - Monday or Wednesday?").

Punctuality, reliability, attentiveness and good manners will give you an edge over your confident rivals every time.

Look at her when either of you are speaking. Looking a person in the eye is rather confronting but did you know that when you look at her nose she thinks you are looking her in the eye? You won't feel uncomfortable looking at her nose.

Make it easy for yourself. Make your outings with women fairly short at first - leave her wanting more. The first meeting should be for coffee - as soon as you've set up the second meeting apologise for the short meeting yet convey how much you are looking forward to the next activity meeting.

Make sure the next meeting is an activity. A bike ride, tennis or Sunday Markets doesn't require much conversation.

Ensure you always tee up the next meeting before you leave her. Then you don't have to worry about setting it up later.

By keeping meetings fairly short, you can manage several meetings before she even realises that you are shy. Before you know it you'll not feel shy with her at all. Your confidence will have developed - because you made it easy for yourself.

Rosalind Baker is the Principal and Founder of Entre Nous Introduction Agency, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia, and author of 3 best sellers, Dial A Woman, Dial A Man and Dial A Personality To find out: Your Personality Type, or to find out", Are You Eligible" or "Are you ready for a relationship?" visit: www.singles.net.au

 

About the Author

Rosalind Baker's professional commitment to 'match making' is well into its second decade, although she has always possessed that innate ability to pair people off. She even introduced her ex-husband to his next wife!
Having established Entre Nous: Relationship Consultants & Educators in 1991 she has now lost count of the number of relationships the organisation has helped to establish.
While there have been many 'fly-by-night' introduction agencies over the past two decades in Melbourne, Entre Nous has stood the test of time. This is due, in no small part, to the professionalism and passion of Rosalind Baker.
She has written three best sellers. The first, 'Dial A Woman' offers advice to Australian men on how to choose the right partner and then maintain a successful relationship.
The obvious sequel, 'Dial A Man' advised women on how to recognise and attract the man of their dreams. While writing her third book, 'Dial a Personality', she realised she had discovered the successful formula for matching couples.
As a journalist Rosalind has written extensively on social affairs and women's issues and is a well-known social commentator on courtship.
Rosalind has been the delegate representing Australian and New Zealand at the International Institute of Introduction Services.
She is a keen follower of the Arts and supports Opportunity International.
She had four children and with her new husband, Tom Baker, they now have 11 grandchildren between them.

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